The NEW Story of So Much Different
by The Atomic Cafe
Summary: It began, it ended, and now it's crazy. Elves, Hobbits, Humans, Wizards gone amuck in present day Earth.
1. A New Time

Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to Lord of the Rings or anything else.  
  
Pippin took a running jump onto the bed. After thirteen tries to get on with the others, the young Hobbit tried to use his arms up.  
"Pippin," laughed Dimgwrthien, "it's only about three to four feet tall."  
"Not to me," grumbled the Hobbit.  
Inside of Dimgwrthien's room at the flat was Legolas, Pippin, Merry, Aragorn, and Dimgwrthien. The room was decorates with a blue paint, snowflakes that looked real dotting the walls, and on the bed was green and blue sheets with snowboarder pillows. A rug was in the center of the large room, a thinly striped one of different shades of blue and gray. A Japanese type light was near the bed, and a desk, oak, placed off to the other side of the room. The actual carpet was red, and in the center of the room was a circle of chairs around a little table. Now on the table was a pile of tarot cards Dimgwrthien liked to mess with.  
Merry pulled his Hobbit friend up onto the bed. Legolas was draped over the chair next to the table, lounging back. He was dressed in jeans and a white tee shirt that said, 'He who laughs last, thinks slowest' on it in black.  
Aragorn was seated on the desk, wearing the same pants he always wore as a Ranger and a brown tee shirt.  
Merry and Pippin were trying to sit on the water bed, Merry with green on and Pippin with yellow coats on. Dimgwrthien was seated next to them, dressed in green jeans and a brown tank top. Her air was braided, as Legolas's hair was, like he wore during the quest.  
They were currently residing in Rivendell, or at least where Rivendell was. Basically all the Elves left for the Havens, save Elladan, Elrohir, Dimgwrthien, Legolas, and Elrond. Though, the Elven Lord was considering leaving soon.  
Walking into the room were two young men. The first one, who wore his dark hair back and had on khaki shorts and a sweater of gray, looked around at them all. The second, who wore the same but red instead of gray sat down on another of the chairs.  
  
"Hey," Elladan spoke up, "it's Winter. Why are you wearing that?"  
"Elves don't fell the cold, silly," Dimgwrthien laughed.  
"Can't we pretend we're normal?"  
"Elves aren't normal?" another voice piped up. A man with short raven colored hair had come in. He wore sun glasses and a suit, but was in the middle of taking off the jacket. "I never knew..." It was Elrond.  
"Adar..." Elladan sighed, looking at his father dressed as Agent Smith. "Why did you audition in the first place?"  
"I was born an actor," Elrond replied smugly. "I would rather stay at Rivendell as Lord of Imadris, but... most of the Elves are gone...." He grabbed one of the lembas that the Elves were trying to make and took a bite, leaving the room.  
Legolas looked out as he left. "Middle Earth has changed," he muttered, picking up a controller attacked to a game box. "Who wants to challenge me to a game of Resident Evil?"  
"You like that game?" Dimgwrthien raised her eyebrows at the violent game in his hand that he was about to insert.  
"Yeah. They look like Uruks." Aragorn got down and sat on the second chair, picking up a controller.  
"Boys..." the Elven girl muttered, getting an angry look from Aragorn and the twins. Legolas was busy setting up the game.  
"I claim the dude!" Legolas called happily, using Aragorn's absence of mind to claim the male from the game. Aragorn grumbled and clicked the start button on the girl. The loud noises erupted from the game until deep in the night.  
  
Merry and Pippin, our infamous Hobbits, sped into the room. They were both still wearing pajamas (they didn't get drunk... well Pippin had a little though.), and a little sleepy.  
"You're up late," Dimgwrthien noted without a change in tone. Pippin yawned and Merry nodded. Both were wearing blue and yellow shirts with pants. They looked about the room, searching for something. Dimgwrthien was in a long sweater and shorts, and Elrohir in boxers and a shirt. When the two mischievous Hobbits saw breakfast, they ran over to it and started serving themselves.  
"Weirdos," muttered Elrohir as Elladan walked out. Elladan was dressed in the same as his brother, making it hard to tell who was who.  
Another yawn. "You guys woke me up," muttered Estel. "Lucky Legolas is still asleep." He paused for a second. "Is he asleep?" All he got in response were a few shrugs. "Everyone else is coming over later today."  
"Lazy bum," Dimgwrthien spoke up to him. "You could have said that earlier. When did you find out." By now, the Elven Maiden was cleaning up and talking.  
"Three days ago," muttered Aragorn sheepishly. Dimgwrthien sighed.  
"Everyone, get cleaned up," she ordered. No one moved.  
"Why can you order us around?" Elladan asked her.  
"I'm older than you, and if I had to take care of you years ago, I still have to now." They sighed and gave in, going to the showers.  
"Morni-" a bright voice came into the room. "Where is everyone?"  
"Legolas, you silly Elf. You woke late."  
"So?" questioned the Prince.  
"The rest are coming later. Get washed up or something."  
"Fine," Legolas replied smoothly. He never did argue with her. It was Dimgwrthien's way or the highway here. If it were the men's way, everything would be... let's not continue that thought.  
When everyone had left the room, Dimgwrthien finished off with cleaning. Smiling, she headed off to her own room.  
  
'Ding-Dong!' the door bell sounded throughout the house. Legolas answered it, letting in a Wizard, two Hobbits, and a Dwarf. "Hey," Legolas greeted them all in turn. "Long time no see."  
Merry and Pippin skidded into the room when they heard the bell, crashing into a wall.  
"Hey!" they both happily cried to them all. As Legolas tried to close the door, a few hands pushed back.  
"Don't forget us! Or have you?" asked a loud voice that could only be-  
  
"Haldir!" Aragorn hugged the Elf, with both arms, making Haldir choke a few times.  
"Let go!" he commanded through the grip. Aragorn reluctantly let go, and the rest of the people came in. Rumil and Orophin, Haldir's brothers, walked in first smiling at everyone. The three were dressed in green, tan, and blue with a hint of silver, each a different color. Erestor, Glorfindel, and Lindir followed. They each paused to hug someone, and Dimgwrthien pecked them on the cheek with a kiss as a greeting. As they walked passed her, Erestor had to walk back to the door. When he opened it, Elrond was, of course, dressed as Agent Smith again, and trying to find his keys. When he saw his chief advisor, he blushed and walked in, pride gone.  
As everyone was still greeting each other, someone -Rumil was it? No one saw except Elladan and Elrohir- complimented them on matching clothes. Elrohir ran to the bathroom and flipped his shirt inside out so that it was maroon and green rather than a red polo shirt.  
Pippin, Merry, Sam, and Frodo were talking very quickly to each other about mushrooms, Pippin was, of course, leading it. Everyone else was grouped around talking.  
"And then this morning I was looking at this site on my comput-" Haldir's story was cut short as the Hobbits let out gales of laughter. Something about mushrooms must be funny, Orophin thought. Haldir sighed at them and continued.  
"Anyway... I saw this one site there that ha-"Another gale of laughter fell from the Hobbits, so Haldir stopped and angrily bit into a chip.  
"So," Elrond continued his long talk with everyone (though everyone was starting to fall asleep from his talks), "I was thinking about having a Christmas party this week. Possibly Saturday, when we're all free." A mumble and grumble from here and there answered.  
"I'll come!" Haldir responded instantly. He was jumping in his chair and looked excited.  
"Good. The time is set for..." Elrond looked at his watch, "five o' clock December 24. It'll be like a sleepover that night!" Elladan and Elrohir let out twin groans at their father.  
  
When December 24 rolled by, the group was putting up decorations. Merry and Pippin decorated the tree that Elladan and Elrohir set up.  
"Um.... I should do that," Legolas whispered to the Hobbits. He took most of the ornament from the box and put them at the upper half of the tree. Before, only the bottom three feet or so were decorated. When golden streamers and silver baubles were up on the evergreen, everyone helped take out classic ornaments from years ago and put them up. Wreaths were about, and everything shared a festive look.  
Legolas sat at a table in his room, addressing cards to everyone. On some cards, he added to be at the party, sharp. He sung for hours, played with the Hobbits, and joined everyone, but this mood didn't last long.  
Two hours before the party, a letter came from Haldir. It was short inside of a card with a wreath blending into a picture of Santa and a sled. "I'm sorry," it read, "but I'm Jewish." When the blonde Elf read this, he fell off his chair.  
"And he was the one who agreed to come!" sputtered the angry Elf as Pippin tried to get him to sit. Legolas was still fuming as the party started, but acted as calm as possible as everyone came.  
  
"Hey!" a muffled yell came through the door as the last guest entered. "You forgot me!" Dimgwrthien reopened the door as Haldir tumbled in, a scarf covering most of his face. "The roads are clear, and Haldir O' Lorien is here!"  
"You dolt," Dimgwrthien cut Legolas's yell off. "We know the roads are clear. And your making Legolas scream more, which is not good for our ears. Haldir mumbled something, took off his coat and scarf, and took a seat in the living room as everyone else did. Merry, Frodo, Sam, Aragorn, and Pippin held Legolas back from killing Haldir.  
  
Later that night, candles were lit, dinner was cleaned up, and the tree was decorated. Presents overfilled the bottom, and, of course, the Hobbits were trying to redecorate everything. They say it wasn't 'Hobbitish' enough. Many rolled eyes went around then.  
"Fine!" Dimgwrthien gave in twenty minutes later when the Hobbits begged to open gifts. "Everyone can open one tonight!" Everyone immediately ran to the tree and looked at tags for names. "Just don't mess up the decorations!" And the decorations were sent off the tree in a frienze. Gifts moved all over. Finally, everyone leaned back on a chair or the floor with the gifts.  
"Youngest to oldest!" Pippin yelled out. "I go first!"  
"There's one problem with that," Legolas piped up. "The Elves may not know our ages." The Elves nodded in a agreement.  
"Fine," Pippin gave in. "Let's just go randomly. Can I go first?" Merry pouted while Elrond nodded.  
Excitedly, Pippin looked at the tag. "To Fool of a Took, From Gandalf." He grinned at the Wizard, who chuckled then opened the gift. It was... a very, very, very, very large basket of mushrooms. And when we say large, we mean large.  
"Mushrooms!" All the Hobbits yelled at once and stared at the basket. Pippin happily popped one in his mouth, as when the other Hobbits advanced, he threw one at each and ran to safety at the other end of the room.  
"Me next!" Merry called, grabbing a gift in his lap. "To Merry, From Frodo." He opened it and pulled out a thick book on ale. He smiled and hugged the book possessively and thank Frodo while opening it to read a page or two.  
Sam got up and got two presents, one for himself and one for Frodo. He nodded for Frodo to open his. "To Frodo, From Haldir." He opened it to find a draidel (how do you spell it?) and a pretty golden ring. The ring had red ruins on it.  
"Merry Chri-" Haldir got out before Frodo screamed. "What?! Did I do something wrong?" Frodo ran out of the room and locked himself in the bathroom.  
And, somewhere far, far away, the MAD publishers were drawing up a parody of Lord of the Rings. Not that that is important.  
  
Well, I found parts of the first three chapters in my head, and stung them together, so some of this may be familiar. 


	2. Joy to the World, and A Hug For Erestor

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone you recognize from the works of Tolkien, the Master of fantasy.  
  
Author's notes: My fingers must move faster! I trying to get this up before Erestor gets off the computer. Your review made me so happy! You're my favorite person ever, Erestor. If you were a boy and it was politically correct, I would say I love you more than... sliced bread (I would say cheese, but I hate cheese). So, let me stop babbling and write fast!  
  
IMPORTANT: I was Dimgwrthien, but someone whom I wish to kill deleted the account... so...  
  
It started with a Ring. A hobbit destroyed it, the end. Next, a group came about, was stuck on Earth, and made a house. That failed as Erestor burned it down. So, they went to the Valinor again. Everyone was mad. And Faramir spilled boiling water on Eowyn after he found out he was King of Gondor. And the world was dealing with these people... So it begins.  
  
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"We're baaa-aack!" Eowyn was heard from the door. Her, Dimgwrthien, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Gimli had been out for the past few hours.  
You see, the two girls thought for no good reason. Then they decided that no one in the house had style.  
Not that anyone needed style, as they lived with a ton of people old enough to be dead.  
And dead people don't seem to have any fashion sense.  
But how would I know?  
I'm eleven and alive.  
But that is totally off topic and my teacher would kill me for talking about this stuff.  
So, the two girls dragged off the poor little people under five feet and brought them to a mall that was made in the Valinor. It was a normal mall, the complete opposite of Erestor's creation of Mirkwood Mall.  
The girls came back with the short people, dressed, made-overed, and unhappy (for the boys' parts, at least).  
Eowyn had gotten her hair cut to shoulder-blade length and highlighted a very bright golden color. She also picked out a skirt with flowers on it and a red shirt with no back. Faramir was not at all disappointed. All but for the fact that Eru was checking his wife out.  
Dimgwrthien had her hair cut to shoulder length and flared out on the ends. Her top was close fitting and looked wrinkly (that was part of the design), and had low rise patched jeans.  
Gimli was stuck wearing a green vest over a bright yellow shirt and blue jeans. Eowyn and Dimgwrthien spent two hours fixing them to fit Gimli, All they used was a paper clip, coffee, Erestor's newspaper, Christina's (me) Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy book, and Erestor's (that's a person I know!) school book.  
  
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Somewhere in the randomly chosen state of Nevada, two girls were walking down the street and happened to bump into each other. Well, more like one walked into the other and both tripped into the gutter. It was Christina's fault. The girl by the pen name Erestor gave her a look that only an alien wearing too much make-up ever got.  
"My favorite book is missing," the one who caused this meeting to happen pouted randomly. She was a creature of randomness.  
"My school book is missing," the other added sagely. Christina nodded.  
"How incredibly random," both commented at the same time.  
"I'm looking for a person I met on this website who goes by some crazy pen name of Ere-"She was cut off by a passing truck. Erestor just used the smile and nod technique.  
"I'm looking for a newt," she responded.  
Both walked away from this chance meeting.  
  
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Pippin and Merry both had their hair cut and wore baggy pants and pollo shirts. Frodo and Sam looked the same.  
"Why did we have to do that?" asked Gimli, ripping off the vest. His hair wasn't cut because the stylist ran, screaming, when he sat down in the spiffy spinny chair.  
Pippin, Merry, Sam, and Frodo followed Gimli upstairs to be boys (meaning joining the boys, eating, burping, farting, and other 'manly' activities that girls cannot do because we are not gross enough).  
  
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Meanwhile, Eru had the Valar and Vala join him in a 'magestic meeting of the wits in a lower dungeon as not to have oafs walking about', which meant 'join me in the bathroom of my house so that those retards can't interrupt our planning of getting rid of them'.  
Nienna nodded along to Eru's new plan. "Are you sure it'll work? Look at your last tries."  
Eru thought. Images from when he tried burning, killing, stabbing, and taunting people to rid of them came to mind. "No," he answered.  
Ulmo blinked. Manwe coughed. Nienna's new cat choked on a hairball. Eru sighed. What a ton of idiots.  
  
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Erestor had been drugged by Glorfindel a few hours earlier, and now, anyone unlucky enough to pass Erestor's room, would have heard Thranduil lecturing an unconscious Erestor on everything in a very motherly tone.  
Lindir sat at the desk in the office, a real office, not a bathroom, drawing a picture of the group. Elrond supervised and made sure that he didn't give anyone a mustache, except Aragorn. Lindir giggled quietly as he added a curly mustache on Elrond, a twirling beard of Rumil, and large eyebrows on Haldir. Happily, he drew in the Valar, and, in the best part of the picture (between himself and a toad), he drew Eru with a twirly beard, large eyebrows, and a curly mustache.  
"I'm done!" he happily yelped, running to the fridge to post the work of art.  
  
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The odd girls that, by chance walked into each other, turned back and headed to each other again.  
"Do you like candy?" asked Christina. Erestor shrugged.  
"I guess so." She paused. "Why?"  
Christina, having the brain power of... 5x10 to the –1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 power, the memory of an ant, and the attention span of nothing, ignored her.  
"My name's Christina, but they call me Meejeet."  
Erestor nodded. "They call me Ere-"Someone started up their lawn mower.  
"Nice to meet you, Erewrrrreeeeeeeeearrrrggggghhhhahhhhhmyhandisfreakinkillinme*." They shook hands.  
"You said you were looking for a newt?" asked Christina. Erestor shook her head.  
"I found it."  
"Ah." Christina paused, trying to think of something to make this conversation interesting. "You wanna burn stuff?"  
Erestor shrugged and they headed off.  
  
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"Why do I always smell fire?" Faramir asked Eowyn, sniffing at the air.  
  
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Well, there is another chapter. My internet may be out, but I'll try to post now... Dod dododod. Lalala. One second. Erm. Doesn't work.  
  
* = She started saying Erestor (Ere-), the lawn mower wnet on (- wrrrreeeeeeeeee-), the man got hurt (-arrrggggghhhhhahhhhhh! My hand is freakin killing me!) 


	3. Orcan Men

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Lord of the Rings or the Tolkien Estate.  
  
Author's Notes: First, it is officially summer here! I have two months or so to write out my heart. My sister graduated eighth grade today, and I got to not see a movie. Hurrah.  
  
To answer reviews...  
  
Erestor: Yes, I think Haldir was Jewish. I planned for Faramir to be, but I did not like it. It took a while to hit the delete button. Hey, do you remember any other reviews I sent you? Nice trivia.  
  
ESM: Tomatoes! Here is your chapter. Yes, sanity is evil.  
  
Neige: Go Zaphod! Yeah! Froody book. Tell Zaphod 'hi' for me!  
  
Namarie an Lalaith: If your wondering, Dimgwrthien is a name she calls herself, but her real elvish name is Mantuar. Cookies if you can remember that.  
  
On another... erm... foot, I got autographs from people at school! They signed my sketchbook. Here are a few comments.  
  
Artanis Catrina (that's her penname here) wrote her name. I insulted her.  
  
Ariana wrote her name.  
  
Christina M.: I still don't see the thing-a-ma-giggy.  
  
Stephanie: DO NOT FORGET ME!!!  
  
Ashley: Hey, keep up the drawing. HAGS. Hope to see you next year.  
  
Shaf: I hate you. HAGS. I'm not joking. (can you see why he's so nice?)  
  
Nichole: A drawing of a witch.  
  
Anthony signed his name.  
  
Andrew: Waz up and down?  
  
Kate: Throw up on the plant. Think about it.  
  
Devan: (with a smiley face) See you, friend!  
  
Sara: Hey, umm... HAGS and hmmm... pants are for squares, Hehehe.  
  
English Teacher: I love your personality and courage to be an individual. Don't let the morons in the world influence you! Stay special. (aren't I the moron?)  
  
Ashley Number Two: HAKAS. Love you and will miss you. Call me. (I don't even know her...)  
  
Katie: It has been a great year knowing you! Have a great summer!  
  
Social Studies Teacher: It has truly been a pleasure to have you in my class. You are the top one percent- I wish we had more students like you. My job would be perfect. Enjoy summer.  
  
Random Person Who Scribbled a Name: HAKAS.  
  
Science Teacher: Thanks for such a great year. I loved all the pictures. Thanks for always smiling.  
  
Me: Bye, Brain.  
  
Frodo spent a few minutes admiring Lindir's art. "I still don't see it," he would mutter every few minutes. After a while, Elrohir walked by, opened the fridge, and pulled out a drink. Wind came and blew Lindir's paper out the window.  
"Why must you do this to me, Eru?" Frodo screamed to the blank ceiling. Dimgwrthien gave him an odd look.  
"Hey, what is you real name?" Frodo questioned her.  
"Mantuar." We have that whole issue settled, don't we? Dimgwrthien thought icily. As you cannot see, Denethor had dropped a rocking horse on her from the upper story. She had been chasing him for a few hours, screaming words that would make the rating of this story go up a few levels.  
"Where were you the night of... today?" Frodo questioned, glaring now.  
"Well, I went shopping, drew a picture of a burning munchkin, played the violin, listened to Norah Jones on my stereo..." Frodo nodded off, and woke in time to hear, "...and learned German. And now I'm here."  
"German?" Frodo wrinkled his face in confusion. "Why German?"  
"Elladan threatened to cart me off to France."  
"Don't they speak French?" Dimgwrthien shrugged and walked into the next room.  
  
The time is late. Somewhere near twelve. Legolas has gathered us all in the living room. One of the doors are open. Everyone is rather restless, as Elrond has not lectured anyone yet. Plus, we all got to see the neighbors realize that we did burn down dead tree in their yard. Their faces were priceless!  
Pippin dropped his pencil into the binding of the book and shut it with a snap. Several people gave him angry looks, others ignored him. Legolas shifted his weight from one foot to another.  
"Well, I got a new pet." Everyone stared at him. This was all he had to say? "Actually, I've had him for a while, but now I have him again. I was shocked that he survived this long. So, I would like you all to meet Sod."  
"Sod?" Elrond laughed. "What kind of name is that? Sod?"  
"His name is actually SoD, but still..." He whistled loudly.  
A large thumping noise came from outside. Everyone watched in fear. All of a sudden, a large black spider made his way in through a small doggie door. Legolas grinned and make to pet the spider.  
The creature roared at him, if that wording were available. Then, still roaring, it ran from the room and there was silence. Pippin, Merry, Sam, and Frodo were all clinging to one another, and Dimgwrthien was clinging onto Faramir, her eyes wide in horror. Eowyn pointedly cleared her throat and tapped Dimgwrthien. She grinned and slunk back to another seat.  
Oh great. Now we have to chase the thing down. This is going to hurt. Pippin finished writing and joined everyone as they headed out the door, looking for the spider.  
  
Within four hours, the group gave up and retreated back to their house. Night had come earlier, so they all sat in the living room and turned on the TV. The news seemed boring, so no one listened. Dimgwrthien soon left the room to cook dinner.  
"In other news," the news reporter started, "a ma-"Haldir turned the television to a music station and watched a music video of Norah Jones's song, Come Away With Me. "Why is the news always so boring?" Erestor, who was perched on the blue couch reading a newspaper, glared angrily.  
"Because some people just don't understand how important the news is." As he finished talking, the doorbell rang. Rumil rushed to the door to open it. A man standing there with a bag in one hand and hat in the other smiled nervously. Only Rumil had clear view of him.  
"Hello. I'm here with..." he looked at a flyer on the neighbors' door, squinting, "Orcan."  
"Orcan?" Rumil asked, unfamiliar with the name. "What's that? Something to do with bugs?"  
"Err... yes." The man fingered the bag. "I have to inspect your house."  
"Sure!" Rumil moved to let the man in.  
The man went to inspecting, and Rumil did not see him, so he walked back to his seat and curled up, listening to some rap song.  
"Who was that?" Dimgwrthien questioned.  
"Some guy."  
"What did you say?"  
"I let him in." Everyone turned their attention to Rumil and either glared or let their mouths drop open. "What? He was checking for bugs."  
"You dolt!" Orophin smacked him upside the head.  
Erestor fingered his newspaper and looked pensive. He flipped back a few pages in the newspaper. "There's an article here," he reported. Dimgwrthien sat down now, trying to peer over Erestor's shoulder. "Something about fake Orcan men coming into houses and stealing. Interesting."  
Then, it dawned on everyone at the same time. In unison, they screeched, "RUMIL!"  
Rumil shrugged and backed away from the group approaching, each with some type of weapon in hand. He nervously flicked a glance at Dimgwrthien's butcher knife.  
"It wasn't me?"  
  
Okay, the end was based on my own experience. Though, I didn't let the guy in. Fake Orcan men were coming into my neighborhood. It was freaky.  
  
Give me a day or so to think of something for the next chapter. I'll work extra hard as to finish it soon.  
  
Let's make the goal back up to ten chapters before school, at the end of August.  
  
I remember the good old days when this story was twenty chapters. And, if your wondering, the first chapter is bits and pieces of the first original six chapters.  
  
Dimgwrthien  
  
PS: Erestor, I'm still trying to upload/scan my pictures! I'll try to get it working whenever my parents aren't home. 


End file.
